National Novice Debating Championship 2011: Sorry, Sharks, You Won’t Be Getting A Piece Of Me.

Posted on February 8, 2011


Not too long ago, being dead was ever so easy. They’d force you in some debate crash course, lower you gingerly in a debate tournament with a pool of over-aged debate sharks and let you rot in peace. I know this personally, because I was a product of what Saiful personally calls the ‘crash test’ and have watched people’s hope of being president scattered and shredded in embarrassment. And that was how debaters were screened and made back then. Just like how the aborigines teach their children to swim – throw them in!

But then on one fine day, some shark came up with a bonzo idea and decided: Lets pool those green-horns together, let them have fun with one another, and eat them up later. We love happy novice debaters – They’re delicious.

Knowing this will be a huge benefit to novice debaters. If you do badly at the national novice for instance, you could either work harder, which for some people may take 261 light years. Or there is always the option of gardening.

If you do find the stomach and the fondness of getting beaten up as surprisingly liberating, debating is always the better option. I know this because I carry with me a broken nose and ligament on my left knee that has torn four times. And this is not because I’m especially clumsy. It’s what happens when you find excitement by playing rugby … and losing.

On a serious note, see you there. I’ll be adjudicating. And if you have a problem with that, yeah, whatever.

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