Call Me A Spoilsport, But I Think It’s Time We Bring Anarchy Back To Malaysian Politics

Posted on August 26, 2010


I am growing bored with our university students. They may be the best brains any company can buy, and the cream of all things nerdy this galaxy can find, but I’ve had enough now, thanks. Listening to those dullards address the socio-political issues of our communities just makes you wish you could change into a horse; just so you could fall asleep standing up. Staggeringly, these people believe that whatever they are saying was interesting enough to be included as an argument in a debate. Honestly, after just one minute I gave serious thought of stabbing him in the heart.

I believe that the greatest thing bestowed on a human being is not beauty, intelligence or wealth. It is the ability to make an argument worthwhile. To take up a cause and champion it. To know instinctively what to leave in, what to leave out and when to lie a bit. If you do not have this, then just shut the *ef up!

Of course it helps if you do actually lead an interesting life. I mean, if Karl Marx had been an IT consultant he probably wouldn’t be any fun and pivotal in the modern development of communism and socialism (Marxism). And that is where all the problem lies. Our university students do not have an interesting life, in and outside of their academic life. And it doesn’t help that they’re all prancing around with a prick up their bottom called the University and University College Act (UUCA). Believe me, if you are a person that wants to give back to society especially after enjoying the huge amount of education subsidy derived from taxpayers, being trapped in university is just like being trapped in a 1940s jail. You really would want to escape, even if the cost was half your bottom ending up in the dogs gutter.

To understand this, we need a bit of history. What happened to our universities is what also happened to the world of rock and roll in the 1970s. We had people fiddling with simple concepts (i.e. Democracy, Liberty, Rock) until they ended up with something meant for teetotalers that lived in a gated community, stands up for the national anthem, cries on national TV and fantasizes himself covered in Vaseline with his best-friend’s mum in a cave.¬†Malaysian University ended up with the UUCA which is very much similar to what the world of rock was introduced to – progressive rock: Lots of smoke and light and noise and an auditorium full of really, really, really ugly men who lie to their wives and are scared to admit to their guy friends that they enjoy a disturbing sensation from listening to Genesis or Yes.

What is needed is a dose of punk and the revival of the Sex Pistol. A retaliation to administrative restraints, chains, and artificial, yellowed-teeth progressiveness that has turned our university students to be an uninspiring bore. What’s needed is something old school, expressive and angry. What’s needed is UUCA to go. And thus, if you see a student with a look of a man on a mission, here’s a tip: get out of his way!

Now I am a debate coach and I’m forever to be found in training yelling at my kids that if the entire case they’ve embarked on has no point, they should have just save everyone the trouble and have a little decency to shoot themselves on the head. I can’t be bored. I have no ability to deal with it. And that is why I can’t do Friday sermons, or CNN. Listening to a 7 minutes speech that doesn’t go anywhere and meaningless is like spending an hour in a coma.

Lets bring back the university environment of the 1970s. Lets empower our university students, their SRCs, the clubs and societies that they are a part of and let’s bring anarchy back to Malaysian democracy!