Debaters, You’re A Bunch Of Over-Rated Intellects … But I Love You

Posted on May 8, 2009

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Of course competitive university debating is NOT an intellectual discussion or forum. That’s just like saying that when a student debates on sustainable agriculture or the policies involved in the subject matter, it empowers the student to be the authority or intellectually sound in the particular subject. For heaven’s sake, give me a break! Debating is an art, competitive university debating is a sport and, the only thing that is intellectual about debating is not what is being talked about or said, but the research and studies on the arts and sports of debating – stuff like argumentation, debate apprehension, debating competence and dynamics or even the study of gender biasness in debates.

Two weeks ago, I was adjudicating at a school debating tournament in Gombak and gave this boy and his team the bucket. Which I strongly believed that him and his teammates downright deserved – the team lost unanimously. Among the panel of judges, I somehow was the only bugger bold enough to give them a clear lost, and they certainly weren’t delighted. The boy came up to me afterwards wanting to know my thoughts on their debate. But after 10 years in debating, you kind of develop this capacity to recognize a cock-faced debater from anywhere – they all look the same when they lose: a sad face drawn onto someone’s wrinkled scrotum. So being a decent gentleman, despite knowing that he’s actually standing in my face to intimidate me and actually wanting to really kick his face, I told him how tragic him and his teammates were.

It breaks my heart to see how cocky people can be just because they moderately know a little more than anyone around them. The boy most probably sleeps with his Superman’s pyjamas and panics from the sight of a women naked, yet had the nerves to intimidate me. And its not like his arguments were all that great either. If I wanted an argument of that sort, I would just kick my dog until something come out of its bottom. Because honestly, that was the value of most of his arguments … dog shit! And don’t worry, I don’t have a dog.

Debaters are like football players. In fact, they’re like English Premier League football players – an over-rated nancy prancing around with an ego twice the size of their heads. Every football pundit will tell you that Manchester United’s greatness doesn’t revolves around cock-face Cristiano Ronaldo’s contract. The manager’s the real man – Alex Ferguson is the engine of Manchester United. He’s the real intellect in the art and sport of football. Same goes to other football wizards like Guus Hiddink, Jose Mourinho and the legendary Felipe Scolari.

I know this article may sound depressingly painful to a lot of debaters but I’m doing this because I can no longer deprive the people I love from failure. And as for those people who can’t cope if their team loses. Give me strength. If you get all teary-eyed just because you lost a debate and losing a debate makes you feel intellectually retarded, how are you going to manage when you are diagnosed with chlamydia?

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